I have been trying to get my blog partly in English for the friends not reading Estonian for a while already, but it remained quite a challenge because of not having time as well as the urge to get things out in Estonian first, especially that this blog is almost my only way to keep my Estonian writing language active. Also, telling the same stories many times makes me to repeat things following a certain storyline and I often feel myself that my stories loose their magic for myself. I decided thus not to write in Estonian and English simultaneously, but keep some distance in time. I find it more enjoyable to write about my thoughts rather than events and I hope this suits for you too. I hope you enjoy reading it.
In few days it will be two months since I arrived to Canada. I cannot realize it, honestly. Now you ask: how is it? Difficult to put in few words. As being longer in a foreign country, you always get those ups and downs. And I’m a person who never sees things black and white. There are always those thousands of shades. Confusingly many shades.
In the beginning it felt just great – to arrive into +24 degrees, sun is shining, everything full of light, people so open and friendly. The campus is huge, and my apartment on campus very cute, though small – about the size of Lapinkaari dormitory rooms in Tampere. Luckily here you share a kitchen with just four people, so no mess that grows over your head. Hundreds of bunnies running around the campus – yes, they just live here, black and grey, white and brown, all imaginable mixtures :) It was funny and it still is. Especially when I happen to arrive home in the darkness having those hundreds of pairs of red bunny-eyes almost lighting up my way home :) No idea, who brought them here and why, it’s just a part of the atmosphere here, though I’m afraid they multiply way too quickly and take over the whole campus soon...
Of course I met a lot of exchange students as the first thing. A lot of people from Australia, England, Japan, Germany, China etc. But some also from Nordic countries. Nobody from Finland or Estonia. The last I would expect the least and until now I have met no Estonian here. One day a met a girl in downtown Victoria, who pointed on my back bag and asked, where did I get it from. It’s “Halti”, the Finnish brand! Then she told me that she is from Finland, living here for ten years already, and we both continued our way. Yeah, many people make big eyes when I tell them that I’m from Estonia. Many people also have an expression in their faces as if they would have heard the name “Estonia” somewhere, but cannot quite figure out in which context. Mostly I have to decide, whether I locate Estonia for them geographically as a neighbor country of Finland or rather as abut on Russia, which leads to further explanation that we are the former republic of the Soviet Union etc. It’s all up to me, which impression I want to create about Estonia, the two ways are just so completely differently imagined. It takes me a lot of effort to change people’s mind, once they stuck on the idea Finland=Estonia=Nordic welfare country or Russia=Estonia=those crazy former communists, be careful with them – so I better be careful. But sometimes I also got surprises! Once a girl from the department of anthropology (a Canadian) told me she had actually travelled in Estonia in 1990s. And another time a girl (a Canadian) asked me, is Estonia this country where Arvo Pärt, the famous composer, is from? Then it was my time to roll my eyes :) How can she possibly know about it? I guess it’s also another extreme to start imagine that nobody ever knows anything about tiny Estonia. All in all I have not met any Canadian, who would not be able to figure out at least that Estonia is in Europe. So I have no reason to agree with “those stupid Americans don’t know anything about things outside of their hometown.”
Yes, Canada is American. At least in terms of “huge”, “small talk”, “keep smiling”. I do not like the first two so much. It’s really difficult to find anything small or of small amount here. If you want 4-pack it’s usually almost the same price as to pay for one piece only. But what on the earth I’m gonna do with four of them?? When people meet here, they always say „Hey there, how are you today?” Same in the bars, with the cashier in the shop, anywhere you can imagine. What you have to answer, is „good” and go on with a conversation or pay your bill, leave a tip and go. No need to explain, how you really feel.
Oh yes, tips and taxes! I really do not feel like tipping everywhere. And I haven’t quite figured out, should I tip even if I did not like a service? So I prefer to ignore the rules and tip only, if the service was clearly above average – as my rule :) Come on, why don’t they just pay this 10% extra as a salary as well as to include the tax immediately in the price? Here you go in the shop and every time you have to memorize that the price on the label is not all you pay. You pay usually a provincial tax of 7% and governmental tax of 6% in addition. Whereas, really usually, cause the taxes apply differently for food, alco and some other stuff, which I have no overview about. Also, taxes are different in different regions of Canada. After all, since when a consumer really cares, in whose pocket the tax ends up?!
The reason, why I haven’t sent any news earlier, is simple: basically no time for leisure (including chatting in MSN or writing emails) here. I did not come to Canada with an idea that the life will be easy in a country where they speak English as natives, but I definitely didn’t expect that the studies will be so dense here. I have never done 200 pages academically challenging reading weekly and this is what I need here to do every single week! Plus formulating discussion questions based on reading, writing essays and participating actively in classes. I registered in three classes first, dropped one of them and I still feel I can hardly manage. Well, I manage, but this means very very limited fun time. Perhaps the reading load is heavier for those studying social sciences, and especially, that I do graduate studies. Anyways, I don’t see that minimum 70% will be easy to reach. I felt a bit revealed hearing that the reading feels heavy for the natives as well. Since I take here anthropology courses only I start slowly identifying myself more and more as anthropologist and less a sociologist. Funny.
And then the seminars. I have a 3-hour long seminar on Anthropological Theory Today once a week. Sometimes I realize that the last hour or a half I’m completely out of track. Yeah, try yourself to adjust to different intonations and topics jumping from one to another. Most of the time my brain still deals with distinguishing, what is important and what is side-topic rather than responding with my own thoughts. Another class I have is about Feminist Anthropology. I enjoy it so much to see what do Canadians think of feminism and world in general. I think I have learnt much more about this society through people’s opinions heard in those classes than through the actual contacts with locals here.
I guess, now you ask, what about getting know the locals? I say it is not so different from Finland. It really isn’t. In terms of making real friends with them. Foreigners hang around with foreigners, exchange students with other exchange student as a general rule. And tell me the country, where it is different?! It’s always the party atmosphere when you make some contacts with locals. There you have those deeply interested talks in the style of “oh, where are you from and why did you choose Canada” and then you forget about those people as easily they forget about you and you go on with your own life. The Canadians, who have more interest in making friends with foreigners, are the ones who have some experience with living abroad themselves. I have become quite close with three girls, one of whose is actually my official buddy, and they all study Spanish and were living in Mexico for a year :) So, yes, exactly the same everywhere.
Who of us actually has time to meet often and create those far-reaching personal relationships within 3,5 months? I was actually surprised that the Canadians here keep as much part-time jobs as Finns do during their studies. But you have to keep in mind that a lot of what they earn does not actually go for travelling and other kind of leisure activities as in Finland, excuse me for huge generalization, but to pay the tuition fee and rent. Remember that people here do not get study allowances as in Finland, but the food is slightly more expensive and the rents for a room in a shared apartment between 4-5 about double in average compared with Finland. I quickly changed my mind quite a bit about the parent-sponsored upper-middle and upper-class younglings who are here to enjoy the comfortable student life.
Another thing I came here for is the chance to see, what does a truly multicultural society looks like. This is something I did not have to change my opinion about. Some of you know more about my mental struggles with the nationalism and racism in Estonia, Finland and Europe in general. I really needed to be here to see that it is really possible to walk down the street, encounter people with obvious Asian (mostly Japanese or Chinese) or Mexican background (reading genetic codes from their faces) and not to think that they are foreigners. Here you don’t think in those categories unless you have a conversation with someone and finally find out that he or she has a weird accent. And even then you don’t ask “When will you go home?” Everybody can possibly live and stay in Canada. Of course, following the community rules. So I discover this multiculturalism bit by bit and try to make sense of what is their common identity based on. If there is a country living successfully without nationalism, then perhaps also Europe without negative nationalism is possible...?
Much more than immigrants or multiculturalism, it’s the indigenous peoples that are the subjects of inequality and racism here. It still takes me time to figure out, what is going on about it, what is my personal understanding about it, and how to relate those first peoples issues here with the ones with Catalonians in Spain, or Sami and Roma people in Finland for instance.
Sorry to bother you with those topic, but it is for you to understand, what do I try to learn here instead of how could I maximize my fun time here with hanging around and networking with other exchange students. I keep repeating that there is no second Erasmus in our life. If you go on exchange for a second time, you go for different reasons. Human relations, however, between the people put into similar circumstances tend to take very similar patterns ;)
And now I have to confess that it has not been purely about struggling with my studies and observing multiculturalism here. Javi was here for almost three weeks during his holidays. We rented a car and had a fantastic trip from Vancouver to Canadian Rockies, which are in about 1000 km distance from Victoria. It’s really amazing to see landscape that changes tremendously in 1000 km, to realize that mountains can be so massive and different from each other. All the different shapes and shades of mountains. And valleys. Roads in such a good shape meandering in the middle of mountains and having the feeling that you are always on the way to nowhere, because there is not a single house sometimes within hundreds of kilometers. We spent several days driving and then in Jasper and Banff national parks driving and hiking. We got sun and rain and snow and ice in the end of September. These national parks are huge and full of opportunities for simple sightseeing, hikes and active sports. No way you can feel the time there was enough. So now we dream about having a chance to get back there one day. Not being time-bounded. Javi was also in Victoria for about a week and he ran his 9th marathon here. So this is also of course one of the reason why the studies now have grown over my head, but I can’t imagine that he would not have been here with me having this trip together. Funny, but I still can’t connect this trip with me being here in Canada, my life in Canada. This feels like another story from different book, if you understand what I mean.
I have 50 days ahead and I am curious, how much “my life in Canada” will change after that.
I wish I could have written this story personally to each of you, but I hope you understand that I would not manage in those circumstances. If you have a moment, write me few words! I am always happy to hear about your doings and thoughts. During the ups and downs it is often the best thing that makes the world to have some sense, if you know that you have friends over there thinking sometimes about. Even if being far away.
Take care!
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